…Cairo stories – Nagham

Nag ham | Doing what you want

I love Cairo, but I needed to find out how I could come back here and really be able to do something here. I didn’t know any of this at twenty when I finished my studies. So I did what all of us do who don’t want to get married, and who don’t know what to do, do… I left, and I went to graduate school.

I always knew that I loved Cairo and that I would be back one day…
But in order to find this love, to know what it was, I had to leave.

I was gone for a long time…
Long enough to find what I wanted to do… Writing novels…
Long enough to meet my husband, an Egyptian, and an academic…
Long enough to have my children…

Even so, when I first came back, ten years ago, I almost found it impossible to be here. I thought it was a terrible mistake. Cairo is chaotic, the honking is everywhere… Where would I find the peace to write?

I had to make some difficult decisions, which might seem selfish to you. The most important was that I would only do what I wanted to do and that I would not do what I was expected do. This was very hard… I didn’t know it would be that hard at the beginning. But after trying, and after a year or so, I could stick to what I did.

So what did I do…

You could say I am lucky, privileged. I don’t have to go to the market. I don’t have to do errands. I don’t do any ofthe cleaning or washing. I could hire people to do all the things that I don’t want to do, so that I can do the things I do want to do. That is how I can live in Cairo and love it. It is how I can be here and do what I need to do. I no longer think this is selfish.! think it is necessary.